Tribal attraction…what makes it or breaks it?

I have been interacting with several online communities over the past few weeks, from Seth Godin’s Triiibes to the folks on Twitter and Facebook. Several communities that I’ve been invited to join are still in the testing stages, others have been around for a while.

I’m just finishing up a stint as a volunteer helping put together a new ebook related to Seth’s book, Tribes, and Triiibes the tribe itself, and I find a very strong contrast between this group of people I’ve come to know over the past few months and the other communities I roll around in.

In short, the difference is a marked lack of self-promoting commercialism.

Seth made it very clear from the get go that participation in Triiiibes is not about beating your own drum, selling your own products/services, or otherwise singing “me! me! me!” He followed that up by walking the same talk–other members of the tribe promoted him, but he didn’t reallly do much himself (he doesn’t really have to, does he?).

Seth also followed through by expelling a member (only one that I know of) who did not heed requests or warnings and continued to post blatant self-promotion on the site. The result is a group of amazing people who, while they definitely have their own enterprises and interests that they want to succeed in, come together to collaborate, discuss, and hang out without wearing sandwich boards or blaring advertisements all over the place. This is not to say that we don’t know about what each other does, or that we aren’t allowed to mention our work or what we’re doing–it’s just that we know that our reason for being on the site is something else.

In contract, of course, places like Facebook and Twitter are all about commercials. Yes, we talk about our lives (a little) and our passions (a little), but most of us include self-promotion as a major part of our intereactions. Nothing wrong with that. I think, though, that the inclusion of commercials in our interactions inhibits the growth of the kind of relationships I’m seeing and feeling on Triiibes.

Facebook and Twitter aren’t supposed to be a Triiibes, so all is well. But the newer communities I’m involved in–the ones still in beta–DO purpot to be more of a Triiiibes than Twitter. EXCEPT, self-promotion is allowed. In fact, the originators of the communities have set the tone by using their creations as places to promoted their stuff…and the members are following suit. And I find that I am not as attracted to those sites (when I have some free time to “talk” to someone) as I am to Triiibes.

I think I may be on to something here. Absence of individual agenda, I am suspecting, is an important factor in building a strong, motivated, connected community/tribe. As soon as the commercials start, the members (especially the ones who would otherwise be the best evangelists and leaders) will tune out.